


Back at One

by kattykurr



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Time Skip, Rice Farmer Kita, but im also not, im sorry, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28772748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kattykurr/pseuds/kattykurr
Summary: The five times Kita Shinsuke kisses you back and the one time he doesn't.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke & Reader, Kita Shinsuke/Reader
Kudos: 42





	Back at One

_ The first time _ you kiss Kita is a mistake. 

It's lunchtime, and you're laughing as your friend is gushing over the new blonde setter from class 1-5. The day started off as a disaster, with you waking up late, resulting having to buy bread at the canteen because you forgot your lunch. 

But nonetheless, it was just another one out of the 365 days of the year. Hectic. Noisy.  _ Normal. _

An average kiss lasts around 10 seconds— at least, that's what people claim to be their ideal. Of course, that depends from person to person, but you agreed with the majority in that matter. You like to imagine that, maybe someday, when you kiss someone for the first time, it'll be right around 10 seconds long—not too long, not too short—at the top of the ferris wheel,  _ just _ as the sun is setting in the horizon.

What you don't realize, however, is that it takes a lot less than 10 seconds to completely shatter your ideals. 

You're turning the corner of the hallway, not looking. Perhaps, if your friend didn't smack you while squealing; perhaps, if you weren't rushing this morning and remembered your bento; perhaps, if you had bothered to spare a second to glance at what's right in front you, today would have just been another normal day. 

Your lips meet something soft, and it's one, two, three—maybe more, probably less—seconds later when you register what's happening. 

That's how you first meet Kita Shinsuke, the usually quiet and reserved second-year, uncharacteristically blushing and profusely apologizing. 

It takes less than 10 seconds to shatter your ideals, but in that same amount of time, you find yourself forming new ones.

—

_ The second _ isn't an accident. 

You start to notice the quiet boy after that incident. He doesn't say much, but he always seems to be observing everything that happens around him. Forgetting your lunch was a thing of the past—you find yourself going to school earlier and earlier every day, hoping to catch a glimpse of him after morning practice. 

You would thank the gods for that day, if you believed in them. But you don't, so instead you thank your friend for shoving you and talking your ear off about her crush. You thank your mom for not waking you up on time, and you go to class 1-5 and thank Atsumu Miya for being " _ so damn attractive _ " (your friend's words, not yours).

Not understanding, but unquestioning nonetheless, they brush it off with a chuckle and a confused 'you're welcome?' 

It isn't long before you and Kita start talking, in the mornings between after-practice and first period, and he tells you that doing things properly  _ just feels right _ . 

"Let me make it up to you," he says, smiling in the way that you like to think you know so well. 

You get a kiss—not the first, but assuredly, not the last. You're at the top of a hill, instead of a ferris wheel. The view is of Hyogo, drenched in the light of the moon, the city lights twinkling in both of your eyes, instead of the sunset setting in the horizon. 

You realize that, maybe, it isn't the setting, but the  _ person _ you're doing it with, that makes the kiss so  _ ideal. _

"Is this okay?" he asks. 

"No," you pout, "Make it up to me some more."

Kita likes to do things properly, and the proper thing to do in this situation is comply. And so he does.

—

_ The third _ is a celebration. 

Proud, you think, is the only word that can encapsulate what you feel as you look at him wearing the jacket with the number 1 on it. 

"I'm happy," he says, squeezing your hand. To anyone, his face would be the perfect mask of indifference; but to you,  _ to you, _ the slight tug of the corner of his right lip upward is evidence that indeed, his words ring true. 

"You've done well," you smile, brushing a stray leaf from his shoulder. "Captain."

Kita stops walking, but says nothing. Silence is not uncommon between the two of you.  _ Silence, _ you observed, can often carry more weight than any words ever can. And silence can make the words that  _ are _ spoken mean so much more.

Looking at him, his eyes meeting yours—unflinching, unyielding.  _ Confident, _ with a quiet determination to remain so. A chuckle escapes your lips, and you place your hands on his cheeks. 

"I'm proud of you, Captain," you breathe against his lips. 

"You are still..." he inches a millimeter closer, "...the greatest result of my efforts."

—

_ The fourth _ is a long time coming. 

Kita's love was never loud, never ostentatious. It never drowned you, never deafened you; but you felt and heard it nonetheless in the gentle caress of a hand, in the whisper of a kiss, in the tea he prepares for you after a long day. 

It dawns on you that his love wasn't like the sea, which could roar into a rage at heaven's command. It's more like...

The smell of tatami mats; the chiming of bells in your grandmother's house when the wind passes through them; the rice porridge that your mother used to make for you when you were sick. 

In this ever-changing world, the things that bring you comfort remain unchanging, very much like the tenderness and warmth Kita carefully wraps you in every day.

"The whims of heaven and the gods are fleeting," he once said at five in the morning, just as the sun was starting to rise, just before the soil cried out to be toiled. "But not even its rage or glee could sway what I feel for you. This feeling is my own, and it is mine to nurture for the rest of my life."

You remember these words as Kita lifts your veil, eyes shining like the city lights of Hyogo that one night in high school at the top of the hill. 

"Shin-chan?" 

"What is it?" he whispers (for once, oblivious to the crowd watching). 

"Maybe the gods aren't real." You place a hand on his cheek, "But if they were, I'd like to thank them for bringing me to you."

Everyone sees a girl in a white dress, and a boy, who sees only her when he thinks of the future. And a kiss, ten seconds long.  _ Ideal, _ they think, as they look at you and Kita.

—

_ The fifth _ is for everyday. 

You learn through the years the joy of routine, the satisfaction in doings things  _ right _ . It's something that you see in Kita, who goes through the clockwork of every day life with a smile in his face, and a confidence that never wavered since the moment you met him. 

Sometimes, you think, that you wouldn't have minded a life of excitement and  _ something new _ day in and day out, like the life your friend shares with Atsumu. She's as rowdy as the day she pushed you onto Kita, and the blonde setter is always ready to jump at all her whims. 

"What's got ya smiling?" 

But as you watch the sun start to rise over the fields, sitting on the  _ engawa _ with the boy you married beside you, waiting for your reply expectantly, you realize that you wouldn't have it any other way. This  _ routine _ of drinking coffee before your husband sets out for the day is not a special occurrence— it's something you've been doing for the past year, and something you will continue to do in the future. And yet, each passing second never fails to make you feel thankful for the joy of everyday. 

"Nothing, really. Was just thinking how beautiful the sunrise looks." 

He smiles at that, taking your hand. "It always does," he says, but he's looking at you instead.

_ I love you, _ his eyes say, as he gazes at you, bathed in the morning sun. 

_ I love you, _ his hand says, as he squeezes yours gently. 

"I love you," he says, as he gets up to leave for the day. 

You kiss him,  _ as usual, _ with a "take care, see you soon," and you go back inside the house, to do what needs to be done for the day.

—

_The first_ _time_ Kita doesn't kiss you back is cold. 

Your knees hit the floor and you wonder if the winters in Japan were ever as cold as the tiles against your skin. Your forehead and palms meet the floor, as if in prayer, to gods you never believed in. 

_ Loss _ , it dawns on you, is something that people never consider before it is thrown in their face, as if mocking the serenity of the routine of every day. 

Loss is thrown at you in the form of a phone call from the hospital at noon, saying that you are the next of kin of a recent car crash victim. 

The established, usual, ordinary everyday is shattered by the figure covered in white cloth—to forever remain unmoving. 

_ Kindness, _ is something that Kita Shinsuke always had an unlimited amount of. It's something that you always knew, and something that you always felt in the way he treats you, his friends, his family, even complete strangers. 

That very same kindness taunts you now, as the officer tells you that he died saving a child from the speeding car. 

You lift the cloth covering his face, and if, perhaps, your vision wasn't perfect, you could almost fool yourself into thinking he was just sleeping. But you understand that his eyes will never crinkle up into the gentle smile that greets you in the hours between twilight and sunrise. You understand that his arms won't drape over your waist, pulling you infinitely closer, sharing each others' warmth. You understand that his hands won't squeeze yours back in an affirmation that he's  _ there, and always will be. _

_ It'll be cold, _ you think, as you painfully try to imagine mornings from now on. 

"Shin-chan, it's cold," you whisper. 

He doesn't answer back. 

_ It's cold, _ you think, as you press your lips against his—as if he was just coming home from a day in the fields, shouting an "I'm home" as he steps over the genkan. But his skin is devoid of the warmth that used to envelop you day in and day out.

Kita always said that he didn't need memories. Now they're all that you have left of him. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first post i have ever posted anywhere (just here and tumblr actually, im just being dramatic) 
> 
> i hope you enjoy it as much as i did ^^


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